I love Christmas. The decorations, the carols, the smell of cinnamon I force upon my household for 30 days straight. It really is my favourite time of year.
But for a lot of parents, the mention of Christmas seems to bring heart palpitations and wistful thoughts of finally taking that cruise that just happens to set sail on December 20th. For them, Christmas equals stress and an unending to-do list.
The good news is, no matter which side of the spectrum you fall on, the Christmas period offers a chance to reflect on the significance of the arrival of our Saviour. The true meaning of Christmas is joy for all, which will last far longer than the scent from that overpriced gingerbread candle.
The period of Advent
Although I consider myself an enthusiastic Anglican today, I didn’t grow up in a Christian household and until quite recently I really had no idea about the traditional church calendar. I thought Advent was mainly about the Santa calendar my grandmother bought me each year filled with cheap chocolates. The first time I came across an alternative use of ‘Advent’ was after my son was born. (As it turns out, having a child seems to bring about the impulse to overthink everything and create everlasting traditions lest they grow up with no core memories at all!)
For those who aren’t already familiar, Advent is the four weeks leading up to Christmas, and depending on the denomination, may include activities such as lighting candles, reciting prayers, and fasting. At its core, however, Advent is really about “waiting for the arrival”—it is a time of anticipating the coming Saviour.
While I personally prefer December to include feasting rather than fasting, I can definitely get on board with using this moment in the church calendar as an opportunity to focus on what God has done for us through his arrival on earth.
And so this begs the question: how do I make sure December is a time of reflection, and not of overwhelm?
Saying no in order to say yes
I’m not sure if anyone told you this, but … YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING!
It can be easy to fall into the trap of endless Christmas events and festivities because that’s what we’ve always done, or it’s what everyone else is doing, or it’s what others expect us to do. But we have an audience of one. The only additional expectations placed upon us are those which we allow.
Regardless of the time of year, the Christian must say no to good things in order to do good things. It’s not that decorations, or gifts for the neighbours, or that end-of-year party are bad. But we have a finite amount of time and energy, so it’s our responsibility to use it well and faithfully.
We must lower the bar in some areas in order to raise it in others.
With that in mind, I’ve listed my family’s priorities for December, and this helps us make decisions about what to spend our time on. Our priorities are to:
- read God’s word and spend time teaching our kids truths about Jesus
- serve other believers at church
- reach out to non-believers
- spend time with family and enjoy the gift of relationships, and
- be people of godly character as we do all this.
Notice that there’s nothing there about beautifully wrapped gifts, homemade gingerbread, matching outfits, or Christmas lights. Those things are nice, but they’re not the main focus. If the devil wants to distract us from the gospel, it turns out all he needs to do is sprinkle some cinnamon over it.
An everlasting joy
The gospel of Jesus Christ compels me to remember that my priority at Christmas is to love God and love others. If I’m so busy running around that I fail to open God’s word with my children, or on my own, then what’s even the point? How tragic it would be to gift them handmade, non-toxic toys that will still one day fade and burn, yet fail to gift them the message of joy that will last for eternity.
Let December be the month that we open his word more often, that we pray for each other more fervently, and are the most zealous in thankfulness. Imagine if those were the core memories my children had of Christmas time.
And let us be people who love others, particularly in the way we conduct ourselves. If I decorate a lovely tree only to get frustrated at my kids for touching it, then better to not have a tree at all!
If I’m going to buy and wrap thoughtful gifts only to be so stressed that I’m snapping at my husband, then better to take his suggestion of just buying everyone a Bunnings voucher and be done with it!
If I’m so busy preparing the ‘perfect’ feast that I go to bed late every night only to be a wreck on December 25th and lament the existence of others, then isn’t it better to just buy those BBQ chickens instead?
We assume loving others must look like homemade food and considerate gifts, but grouchiness is still unwelcome, even if it has a big red bow on it.
The agreement I have with myself is that I can do all the extra fun stuff at Christmas as long as I can do it with joy, and it doesn’t get in the way of other, more important activities. So, if you walk into my house in December, you probably will still find decorations, and gifts under a tree, and plenty of cinnamon. But, God-willing, you’ll also see an open Bible, and a family who enjoys each other. Because there’s no better testament to the effect of the birth of our Saviour than that.
Practical ideas for staying focused this Advent
- Read a section of the Christmas story each day.
- Read through a children’s Bible each day, finishing with Jesus’ birth.
- We have a travelling Mary and Joseph who move around the house each night with the next day’s Bible passage. The kids run around looking for them each morning, and if I forget to move them, I simply tell the kids not to look while I find a new spot.
- Practise giving and receiving gifts with thankfulness.
- Play the ‘Surprise Santa’ game with your immediate family. The kids each get one person to buy for, a small budget, and we take them to the shops to help teach them how to buy someone a gift.
- Take gifts over to the neighbours. (Our Christmas cards always include an apology for the noise we make … )
- Help organise an event at church and get the kids involved in helping to set it up.
- Help the kids write Christmas cards for their friends and teachers.
- Include the kids in charitable giving—we’ve used Operation Christmas Child or Tear Fund.
- Prioritise church over other family events.